A new journey

this is an emotional post, I formula fed Alanna, with some expressed milk in the first few weeks. Looking back I didn't have the support I needed or the understanding of how hard it can be. Her first 3 feeds were formula and every feed ended with the midwives fetching a top up of formula.  All her feeds became formula and I was told I had tried, but she needed the formula.  I ended up with pnd and this was a large part of the cause. For 10 years I have beaten myself for failing, for 10 years I've been trying to mentally make it up to her. I've felt guilty, a failure.  This time I thought about it while I was pregnant. I was determined to give it a go, but  I had formula to hand and try not to worry if it didn't work.  Freya was born on Monday 7 November 2016 at 9:04am weighing 9lb 3oz.  Fairly straight forward birth, with a 8 hour labour. What a different experience to last time. She was placed on my chest and we were covered together. The room was very c...

The start of a new part of my life. I've been married; had a daughter; got divorced; moved to Somerset; had a handfasting; Have 2 stepchildren; and now my daughter is 10 have a new baby!  It's taken me until she is nearly 6 months to do this, but finally getting there. We are a family of 6 now, plus a dog and 2 cats. My mum lives locally in Burnham-on-Sea with dad not far in a nursing home.  This blog is to remind me of the good times, and offload some of the bad.